we grieve together

Image description: abstract botanical image created from names of some of the more than 183,000 people who’ve died in the U.S. from COVID-19

Fauci debunks theories of low CDC coronavirus death toll: ‘There are 180,000-plus deaths’ in U.S.” CNBC, September 1, 2020

Covid-19 death skepticism, explained by a cognitive scientist” Vox, September 1, 2020

U.S. Coronavirus Cases Top 6 Million” New York Times, August 31, 2020

naming the lost

Image description: burning candle flame on black background. 24 hour vigil and reading of names for those lost to COVID-19. May 20-21 2-2pm EST #NamingTheLost A 24 Hour COVID Vigil

Image description: burning candle flame on black background with white text. Text reads: 24 hour vigil and reading of names for those lost to COVID-19. May 20-21 2-2pm EST #NamingTheLost A 24 Hour COVID Vigil.

Naming The Lost / Nombrando A Los Fallecidos

For more information and to submit information about a loved one who’s died from COVID-19 visit http://namingthelost.com/

united colors

Two people walking under a billboard in an urban setting. Image on billboard is of three organs that appear to be human hearts side by side labelled "white" "black" "yellow" with the green United Colors of Benetton logo.
photo credit: Sipa Press/Rex Features

“J. Crew up in here one more time & we gon’ United Colors of Benetton all on your ass.

That’s how I dream. I understand what my mind was trying to say, lol, bad metaphor though– I never could afford one of those Benetton sweaters. That marketing though! What a beautiful vision of bright colors, diversity, access and social justice. “Benetton’s United Colors gave the brand license to embrace the full spectrum of humanity, promoting itself as diverse, fun, and playful, unlike competitors, which often appeared stark and serious.” No correlation to the products themselves, or the consumers who had the means to buy the products. Marketing is just pretend: create a vision people have feelings about and manipulate people through their feelings, driving them into the marketplace to buy more.

Instead of pretending, let’s look at what’s real, examine what’s true. Leaving behind and perhaps building upon our delightful fantasies and our faith, cultivating more rigorous inquiry into how things are. Facts not feelings. Marketing trades on people’s feelings in some of the same ways what’s happening in the U.S. politically right now does. As public health officials are being excluded from congressional hearings, we’re being asked to believe a vision created for us by people who do not have our best interests in mind.

From the Guardian, “Donald Trump is effectively abandoning a public health strategy for the coronavirus pandemic and showing a “clear willingness to trade lives for the Dow Jones”, critics say. A leaked internal White House report predicts the daily death toll from the virus could reach about 3,000 on 1 June, almost double the current tally of about 1,750, the New York Times revealed on Monday.”

It’s not cynical to think that what’s fueling the unfolding tragedy in the U.S. isn’t only a matter of lack of leadership, but an intentional focus on profit over people. (What up with Jared’s PPE stash?) Who’s benefiting from this pandemic, how specifically? Always follow the money.

I woke from the dream this morning to news that J. Crew has filed for bankruptcy. “The first national US retailer to file for bankruptcy protection.” The landscape is shifting all around us. As Jen Hofmann‘s been detailing for a long time now with the Americans of Conscience checklist, it is important to pay attention to what’s changing.

I believe in science. I want to hear facts, data, information, real questions being addressed, not emotional manipulation, fantasies, magical thinking and gaslighting. I look forward to Dr. Fauci’s testimony.

untethered grief

May 5, 2020 2:18 am

I’ve been up half an hour at least because L was silent screaming in her sleep– fair enough response. We should all be screaming at the top of our lungs now (those of us who can). This is a nightmare we’re living in, a fucking nightmare.

I keep pondering the absolute lack of ritual. There’s zero collective mourning happening. Next to none. I see Lincoln Center with Union Theological is hosting concerts every week. I see facebook has added a couple emojis to indicate CARE. Individuals light real and virtual candles, but where are the altars, the shrines, the tributes? Where can we cry out, shake out, celebrate the lives of those who’ve passed, move grief through our bodies? Savage Remix ain’t it. It’s bothering me.

Responding to a twitter post from Kristin Rawls, the importance of collective mourning has been gnawing at me.

Grief– this grief– is collective. Treating it as an isolated experience, compartmentalizing it as individual suffering isn’t just wrong, it’s lies. That’s not the truth of how things are.

One of the many lessons we learn in opening our hearts is that all beings are connected not only through love and joy, but also profoundly connected through pain. Recognizing our connectedness in suffering is one of the ways we can recognize our common humanity. Fronting like we must bear the enormity of this pain alone is an offense– a moral offense and an affront to our humanity.

Reading the above twitter thread, there were many folks who wrote that they didn’t want to acknowledge all the suffering of this moment because it’s still unfolding, it’s not over yet. It reminded me of what Bhikkhu Bodhi wrote, “the Buddha says that there are few who are stirred by things that are truly stirring, compared to those people, far more numerous, who are not so stirred. The spurs to awakening press in on us from all sides, yet too often, instead of acknowledging them, we respond simply by putting on another layer of clothes to protect ourselves from their sting.” (Meeting the Divine Messengers)

Death is considered one of the four heavenly messengers in Buddhism, offering us opportunities to reflect deeply, re-evaluate our lives. Confronted with the mass death we’re surrounded with in this moment, it makes sense to me that “we must make drastic changes in our existential priorities and personal values. Instead of letting our lives be consumed by transient trivia, by things that are here today and gone tomorrow, we must give weight to “what really counts” (Meeting the Divine Messengers)

Moving forward, we need care and nurturance built into the very systems that support society. Care and connection– acknowledging our interbeing must be centered in the framework of our societal structures. They’re not now. Not here. Right now we’re still collectively operating out of this myth of the solitary hero, the lone wolf, all those pick yourself up by the bootstraps narratives– it’s all lies based on an outmoded worldview of power over, of us vs. them, of exploitation for profit, of individual vs. collective freedom.

Those times are behind us. I see building power with, all of us together, a culture of nurturance and care. Moving forward we build together, we care for each other, we mourn losses together acknowledging that all belong, all are worthy, all are loved– all beings above and below, seen and unseen, heard and unheard, living, passed and yet to be born.
All beings without exception. No one left out.

some reading:

Rebellious Mourning, Cindy Millstein ed.
“The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture,” Nora Samaran
We’re Still Living and Dying in the Slaveholders’ Republic,” Ibram X. Kendi

Those We’ve Lost, The New York Times
Faces of the Dead, The Washington Post
Mourning America